How to Handle the Stress of Finding a New Job

This article is written as a dialogue between Carnegie Coach and Mr. Samuel.

Dear Carnegie Coach:

I've made some horrible mistakes in my career. Most recently I was a salesperson for a large computer company and I was fired because I dropped the ball on an important sale. This is the only time I've been fired but I've left other jobs under bad circumstances, mostly because I wasn't meeting my bosses' expectations. I want to be a good employee but I just seem to get in over my head. When I can't handle a situation, everything starts to go wrong. Now I'm scared to even look for a new job. -- Samuel


Dear Samuel:

You've taken the first step toward overcoming your concern -- you've realized that there is a turning point in your work situations that creates overwhelming stress. Perhaps it occurs when you've had some success so your manager raises expectations for you. Or perhaps you are very good at landing jobs that are just a bit beyond your skill level – once you've been there a few months, your grace period has ended and your manager expects you to perform at a higher level than you can. Some people fear success because it means they have to work at a higher level; instead they find a way to get out of the situation.

I can't tell you what this turning point is for you, but I can tell you that it's manageable. It's very clear that you care about your work. That sincerity is what will carry you through this difficult time. Try these tactics as you're interviewing for your new job:

1. Don't worry about the past. You can't change the past. You can't change what others will think -- or say -- about you because of past mistakes. Forgive yourself and look to the future.

2.Analyze your own mistakes and criticize yourself. As I've hinted, there are reasons you've made these mistakes. Try to figure out what they are then develop a plan for solving the problem. If you lack skills, take training. If you don't want a high-pressure sales job, look into less stressful positions. If you feel your manager tends to move you ahead too fast, plan to discuss the fact that you seem like a quick learner because you pick up on industry idiosyncrasies quickly, but you can't keep up that pace forever.

3. Do not imitate others. Often when we feel insecure we start to mimic the behavior of others. All too often, that is the beginning of a series of events that eventually turn destructive. You can't be someone else. You can't relate to your manager the same way your coworker does. You can't land a sale the same way your manager landed one last year. Instead, as you're looking at how to handle a new situation, turn to your instincts. Certainly listen to
the advice you're being given, but manipulate it into a format that works for you.

4. Count your blessings -- not your troubles. In a world fraught with war, famine, disease and natural disaster, losing a job is far from the worst thing that can happen. Try keeping a list of all your blessings in your wallet --family, friends, health, talents, etc. Then, when you're feeling like a failure, take it out and remember all the people who don't have these advantages.

A Job For Every Dad

What kind of dad are you? Find career options that fit your dad skills!

Dads have a unique set of skills. From carpool driver to coach to cook...the modern dad does it all. But how do these skills translate to the work force?Use our handy guide to match your dad-skill with a great career!

For the dad who can get the kids to eat vegetables...

Marketing specialists help determine a company's strategy to bring in business. Duties include: advertising, promoting, and targeting products to the right consumers.
Dad-friendly factors: Many large corporations that employ entire marketing departments offer flex time, on-site child care, and telecommuting options.
Gear up: A bachelor's degree in business or marketing will show clients you've got the knowledge and skills to help their business grow. Once you've gained some experience, you could work as a consultant or marketing manager.
Get paid: According to Jobs-Salary.com, marketing consultants earn an average of $57,851 annually. Dads who advance to the level of marketing manager have even more reason to celebrate: the average annual salary is $108,580, according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

For the dad who bandages scraped knees...

Registered nurses (RNs) provide patient care, which includes everything from administering medication to checking vital signs. Job opportunities for RNs should be excellent, but will vary by location and employment setting, according to the Department of Labor.
Dad-friendly factors: Nurses are needed at all hours of the day and night, which means more scheduling options for you. Telephone triage nurses work from home via telephone or computer providing advice or managing cases.
Gear up: Complete a nursing degree or certificate program, then get licensed in your state.
Get paid: The average annual salary for registered nurses is $62,450.

For the dad who still has a spot for his laptop among the toys...

Medical coders assign codes to specific medical services and procedures, which helps insurance companies and health care providers bill for services.
Dad-friendly factors: According to the American Academy of Professional Coders, 39 percent of coders work from home at least part of the time, usually telecommuting for an employer such as a hospital or clinic.
Gear up: An associate's degree in medical billing and coding is the most common way to get started, but there are also one-year certificate and diploma programs.
Get paid: Coders who work for medical and surgical hospitals have an average annual salary of $32,600.

For the dad who can hook up a video game system...

Computer programmers develop, test, and design software and computer programs for everything from cell phones to mainframe computer systems to video game consoles.
Dad-friendly factors: Because computer programmers often work alone, it's the perfect job for telecommuting or even starting your own freelance business.
Gear up: A bachelor's degree in a field such as computer science or information systems will qualify you for most positions.
Get paid: $69,620 is the average annual salary for computer programmers.

For the dad who finger paints like a master...

Graphic designers conceive and create almost everything you see around you - from posters and web sites to the packaged goods you see on the supermarket shelf.
Dad-friendly factors: Many graphic designers work on a freelance basis from their home. Because you're not on a strict 9-to-5 schedule, you can coordinate your work with your family's routine.
Gear up: Get an associate's or bachelor's degree in graphic design.
Get paid: The average annual salary for graphic designers is $42,400.

For the dad who makes sure everyone plays fair...

Paralegals play a pivotal role in the criminal justice system, researching legal matters, putting together reports and other materials for attorneys, and assisting in the preparation of cases.
Dad-friendly factors: A lot of paralegal work involves research that can be done on any computer with an internet connection, which can make telecommuting a viable option. Web conferencing software allows you "attend" meetings while at home with the kids.
Gear up: Get started on your paralegal career with a certificate or associate's degree in paralegal studies.
Get paid: The average paralegal salary is $46,120.

Career Resources For Lawyers in Transition

If you’re looking for work as a lawyer, or hoping to transition into an alternative career, be sure to check out the resources available through your state and local bar associations. Most bar associations have a career portal on their websites, and many have established committees specifically to deal with the recession’s impact on the profession. For example:

• The American Bar Association has an Economic Recovery Resources web page with a plethora of information, from job search and networking advice and articles on practice management and career transitions, to tips on managing stress and student loan debt.
• The New York State Bar Association Committee on Lawyers in Transition, formed prior to the recession, now focuses on helping attorneys who have been laid off as a result of the economic downturn. Among other resources, the committee has a Lawyers in Transition blog and a series of webcasts on career strategies and development.
• The Los Angeles County Bar Association has a career site devoted to Career Transition Resources, including a Resource Guide for Unemployed Lawyers.
• The New York City Bar Association has a variety of resources for lawyers looking to start their career or to make a transition.

Some upcoming events:

• September 14 and 16, 2010, New York: The NYC Bar’s Center for CLE, the Committee on Career Advancement and Management, and the Committee on Law Student Perspectives are holding a Boot Camp: Basic Training for Lawyers, a two-day program “to provide recent law graduates and current law students with career planning information particularly relevant in today's economy, as well as practical and substantive insights into the practice of law.” (Note: the program is free to students and alumni of sponsoring law schools).
• September 15, 2010, Massachusetts: The Lawyers in Transition Committee of the Massachusetts Bar Association is sponsoring a program by Stephen Seckler on “Revving Up Your Fall Job Search.“ Seckler is a law firm marketing coach whose services include a new program called SLC Jump Start ^SM — Making the Transition from Associate Who Does the Work to Partner Who Generates the Work.

Good News for Teens, Top Job For Teens.

The top jobs for teens are the hidden jewels of the employment world. While these starter careers may be seem hard to find, if you have a plan and know where to look they can be found. From work suitable for 14 year olds, 15 year olds and 16 year olds to top jobs for teens that are older, there are employment positions listed here that can provide exciting, fun work and a paycheck to go with it. The top paying work for this age group is in technology and working online. The highest paying positions are working as an Internet programmer helping to build websites.

Jobs for Teens

• ACCOUNT ACE 16 year old national company, experienced sales pros - Fort Lauderdale, FL
  ACCOUNT ACE 16 year old national company, experienced sales pros only. B2B sales. Earn $1600 Per Sal...
• Preschool Teacher - Two Year Olds - Corporate - Burbank, CA
  Two Year Old (Preschool) Teachers serve as members of their Classroom Teams and report to the Two Ye...
• Internet Researcher - www.shopbest.com/sell - Arizona
  Internet researcher needed. Up to $75 per 3 hour project. Must be 16+ years old, have own computer a...
• 30+ Hours/Week - Lafayette, CA
  Take care of 2 children (16 month, 3.5 years) feeding, nap, driving to playground, classes. Also res...
• Nanny/Housekeeper needed At Once - Nanny Locators - Katonah, NY
  to care for two children ages 7and 16 and help with daily house cleaning and cooking. 16 year old is...
• english speaking baby sitter - Altro, KY
  in Milan an english mothertongue student for a 6 years old boy to help him with homeworks and take c...
• precalculus Tutoring/Teaching - WyzAnt Tutoring - Raleigh, NC
  Hi Im looking for a tutor to come to my home and work with my 16 year old son in Pre Calculus prec...
• physics Tutoring/Teaching - WyzAnt Tutoring - Pinson, AL
  I have a 16 year old daughter needing a physics tutor. She's a junior at Clay Chalkville HS. I'm hav...
• BUSSER Part-time - Bishop Gadsden Health Care - Charleston, SC
  Part-Time Busser Must be at least 16 years old Fine Dining Experience preferred. Must be availabl...
• Nurses for Pediatric Trach and Vent - Bayada - Salem, NJ
  This two year old little girl needs your help. She is currently trached and is on a ventilator and r...

Babysitter, writing, tutoring and other traditional employment is still a common way to earn money for the younger crowd. Retail jobs for teens and the dreaded fast food career may still be the easiest to work to obtain. Some cities have programs that may help you to find part time, temporary and entry level jobs for teens.

How to Be a More Effective Communicator

Success as a supervisor, manager, or staff level employee is dependent on the ability to communicate effectively. Communication is about more that just works; it is about body language. facial expressions, posture, actions, reactions, and demeanor. Every twitch contributes to the concept one is communicating.

Instructions

Step 1

The first step to effective communication is to determine whether written communication is required, optional, or unnecessary. Typically it is only required when one is communicating something highly complex, lengthy tasks or directions, or to someone what has a history of not understanding or following through with spoken communication. It is also critical when one is attempting to create a paper trail for disciplinary or promotional actions.

Step 2

Now clarify the ideas prior to the communication. This means that one should clearly and thoroughly understand the problem, idea, and messages that one wants to communicate. This requires significant analysis of the situation. It is often helpful to outline what one seeks to convey. If one is emotional it is helpful to organize the thoughts prior to communicating them to minimize the emotional context in the communication.

Step 3

Now ascertain the purpose of the communication. Think about what the goal that you want to accomplish with the message is. Do you want information, action, paradigm shifts, or just to present a message. Tailor your approach to serve this object and be cautious about trying to accomplish too much with each communication. The more objectives you present the more diluted your message becomes and the lower the chance that your message will get across to the reader.

Step 4

Next consider the setting and try to choose the best environment to present your idea. The timing is critical if the listener is having a bad day he or she may be negative opinion that could be difficult to change. Think about the setting and if it provides privacy, if needed. Consider the current and past practices and whether or not you conform to these. Consider the medium, is the message best communicated in person, by memo, or by mail.

Step 5

Now be conscious of unintentional and unintended communications. The tone of your voice, your expression, your mannerisms, and your receptiveness to others can greatly influence your audience. If your voice is condescending or harsh, you expression negative, your mannerisms negative, and you show no receptiveness to others then the audience may take a dislike to you and regardless of how much sense you point makes, the audience may automatically go against you.

Step 6

Next make sure that you include something of help or value to the recipient. This will make them more responsive to your point of view and most likely more receptive. Even if you are telling the employee something negative such as counseling them on taking too much time on a project make sure to note how much you appreciate the effort

Step 7

Next follow up on the communication. Ask for response and reactions. This is a critical part of communicating because it enables you to adjust and take corrective actions.

Step 8

Think about the long range goals. Typically people communicate immediate needs, however communicating long range needs is just as important. It helps show how vital the idea is and how it is consistent with long range interests and goals.

Step 9

Remember that actions speak louder than words so ensure that your actions support your message. If you talk about the importance of arriving to meetings on time, yet show up to meetings late it is unlikely that people will follow what you say.

Step 10

Last but not least try to be a good listener. Communication is a two way street. The purpose of communication is to both give and receive information and feedback. It only works if both parties are open to listening and ask for feedback to ensure that the message is correctly interpreted by both parties. In order to be an effective listener one should concentrate on the works expressed, implicit meaning of those words, and attitude of the speaker.

By Cinda Roth